Hallelujah. I'm a free of all heterosexual constraints. After three weeks of intensive counseling, I no longer desire to dress for my man or cook pot roasts and other man-foods. In just three weeks I discovered that I don't have to watch the Super Bowl, drink beer with my man, or wear flirtatious man-stimulating lingerie on Valentine's Day. In just three weeks I have become completely homosexual.
My hetero-mate has agreed to a sex change. So now, the bulky brown leather sofa is history and we're shopping for something in lavender tones. Imagine, all this in just three weeks!
No longer will I be a disgrace among my homosexual friends. I think we'll move to another town like Miami, New York or San Francisco. Oh, wait, I've been heterosexual for too long and forgot that Santa Fe is gay-friendly. Maybe we'll stay here after all.
Okay, I'm just kidding. Is Ted Haggard kidding?
3 years ago
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